So Long PTA

SoLongPTA

also known as

“It’s A Whole New World”

Did you hear the explosion? Either Pinterest graduation boards blew up again, or another mother’s last nerve was hit.

Can you smell the fear? CHANGE is in the air. Traditional school years are coming to an end, and we’re facing unknown territories. 

It’s no man’s land. . . no mom’s land.

SoLongPTA

RESEARCH SHOWS
There Are 3 Official Mom Camps

  • CAMP ONE: “Can my kid please stay a few more years in school and take a victory lap?  I know this stuff.  I’m good at this stuff, I AM THIS STUFF and bake sales are my ‘thang dawg”. (sorry)
  • CAMP TWO: For whatever reason, your nest will not be emptying.  That’s ok.  Stay here, we need each other!  And RESPECT.  Shout-outs to you.
  • CAMP THREE: Hugs.  Goodbyes. Tears.  A quick laundry lesson. Tears. . .And “NOW WHAT?”

SIDE NOTE:

  • CAMP ONE: Bless!  You were undoubtedly the rockin-est Mom that took up all the slack for us C+ School-Moms, so we thank you!   But Ariana had it right: “thank u, next.” (It’s a hip song, I had to Google it).
  • CAMP TWO: Double Bless.
  • CAMP THREE: Reality and Aging both bite. . . And yes, both have just bitten.
SoLongPTA

GRADUATION COPING SKILLS 101

    • Relish The Sweet School Memories
      Close your eyes and picture yourself running to Walgreens at 10pm for a tri-fold poster board and yarn.  Or the nights with the last-minute “My Favorite Person In History” and please come in full costume tomorrow projects? You don’t have to do that again. EVAH.  Sweet feeling isn’t it?

       

    • Kiss the Bitter Stuff Goodbye
      Still remember the phone call you got from the Principal?  Yes, the lump in your throat will eventually disappear, along with the memory of the Pink Slip and driving your student to Saturday Detention.  It will be funny one day.  Just wait long enough.  You too will want a bumper-sticker announcing: “PROUD MOM OF A BREAKFAST CLUB STUDENT”.

FUN FACT #55:

Get Ready For Your Special Little Gift

Is your teen or YA a tad (more) cranky?  Their disrespectful grunts and eye-rolls on steroids? YES!!  This is your graduation gift from God.  When they hit that very, very last nerve, you will finally feel ready for their departure.

But wait, there is more! It’s a gift that keeps on giving.  Wait for this gift again near the end of each holiday visit or summer vacations spent at home.  Embrace it.  Own it.  You will learn to appreciate it.

(If either of my kids is reading this, writing for a friend.)

WE ARE HERE, BUT WHERE IS HERE?

We’re now facing a pretty big VOID.  Remember the life that revolved around the Official School Calendar?  It’s gone.  It’s over. It’s a whole new world.

If you’re singing along with Princess Jasmin and me right now, you are my people.

*NOTE: girl in photo is not me (she’s way cuter).

**NOTHER NOTE: dog in photo is not my Harrison (Harrison is way cuter, just sayin, my opinion).

"Now What?"

Is it just me, or does “Now What?” send you straight to a drive-thru for comfort tacos?  Those 2 words are pretty scary.  They actually rank just under “I Do!” and “Two Lines!”  They all start with happiness & rainbows, followed by a dry throat and a need for sugar.

DIFFERENT PANIC ATTACKS:

SAME QUESTIONS

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  • “I don’t know how to do any of this!”
  • “Where’s the manual?”
  • “Where’s my mom?”
  • “Where’s my comfort-zone?”
  • “And for the love, where’s my Diet Mr. Pibb?”

Somehow we managed.  OBVI. We inhaled the pages of oversized-shoulder pads in BRIDES Magazine and devoured every parenting tip from What To Expect When Your Expecting.  But what was the secret sauce?  

(hello Brooke, love those shoulder pads!)

SoLongPTA

“What made it work?”

It certainly wasn’t Chapter 13, “You Can Get A Newborn To Sleep Through Its First Night”  (palease! You have to be trying not to pee-laugh right now).

SoLongPTA

I had the 1st Edition and now they’re up to the 98th Edition? 

98th edition ...JOKING this is from the 4th edition...(What to Expect When Your Expecting) incorporates the most recent developments in obstetrics and addresses the most current lifestyle trends (from tattooing and belly piercing to Botox and aromatherapy). There's more than ever on pregnancy matters practical (including an expanded section on workplace concerns), physical (with more symptoms, more solutions), emotional (more advice on riding the mood roller coaster), nutritional (from low-carb to vegan, from junk food-dependent to caffeine-addicted), and sexual (what's hot and what's not in pregnant lovemaking), as well as much more support for that very important partner in parenting, the dad-to-be. Overflowing with tips, helpful hints, and humor (a pregnant woman's best friend), this new edition is more accessible and easier to use than ever before. It's everything parents-to-be have come to expect from What to Expect...only better.

-What To Expect When You're Expecting

“Humor?”,  and I thought french vanilla ice cream with ketchup was a pregnant woman’s best friend, but I divert again…. I need a Diet Mr. Pibb.

SECRET SAUCE

So who taught you what the manuals left out?

Your TRIBE.    Let it sink in.

It could have been a tiny cozy little tribe or a Red Tent size tribe. But you had one and that little handholding made all the difference.  Bridesmaids, girlfriends, birthing coaches…

NOW YOU HAVE THE WILDERNEST TRIBE

Incase you’re not wearing a Captain Obvious Cape, here’s the 411…

  1. Wilderness”: It’s unknown and let’s face it, plain scary.  It also conjures up those cool boho gals throwing hands up, tops off and saying “yes” to the possibilities that lie ahead!   *Only the JEEP top comes off, sistas!                                                                                     
  2. “NEST”: I’ve endured the name “Robin” for LV years (55 in Roman numerals and my favorite, sweet Louis Vuitton initials).  I’m finally going to own it and all the other bird-related words.

      *And for all you gals with incredibly timeless, enchanting names; I love you all and I’m certain you have perfect Marsha Brady hair and have no idea what acne is, so please bear with me and my ROBINisms.

HOUSE KEEPING NOTE:

Some words just don’t work for me and we’re going to avoid them like we avoid the survey-takers at the mall.

Demi & I both agree; “Sorry Not Sorry.” (#hip-song still?)

  1. Empty Nester (working on a replacement)
  2. Retirement
  3. Downsizing

These words do not inspire nor match my vision for “this midlife chapter” (ouch another one).

Here are some extra-point words.   May Alexa and Suri get tired of hearing these:

SoLongPTA

AND BEST OF ALL. . . We’re going to do this TOGETHER.

"And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out in the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together."     

-Robert Fulghum, All I Really Need To Know I Learned in Kindergarten.
SoLongPTA Empty Nest Blog

So clear off your Pinterest boards, breathe in the sweet smell of change, and pat yourselves on the back for all the satisfaction in your rearview.

And as Mr. Fulghum encourages:  Let’s grab hands and get ready for the adventures no PTA mom had the time or energy to do!

SoLongPTA Empty Nest Blog

 I.  The sweet school memories make adorable scrapbooks, but  the rough stuff make the juicy stories.  Balance.  Embrace them    all.  When it’s been enough time, you’ll be eager to share.      

 II.  This new chapter brings a chance to REINVENT YOURSELF!  Time to be bold and use our outside voices.  We’re doing this  together.  No Mom left behind.        

 III.  God made them all:  Crabby Teens, Pinterest Mind-Overload  and Wine.  

 Let us be thankful.

 LoVe,
 Robin

9 thoughts on “So Long PTA”

    1. Oh idol of mine!! Thank you for the positive vibes!! Sorry it took a while to comment back…ADVENTURE 1. figure out WORDPRESS. Coffee soon at SOLA!! LoVe R

  1. Trust me as kids we still need you more then we ever let on. When I was dropped off at college with a checkbook with $500. In it in 1974 I was like and I have to get this to balance…. Beers were 10 cents a glass and $25 went a long way. After all I was also left with bags of groceries, enough laundry detergent vitamins and all the encouragement my roommates and I could handle. At least weekly phone calls helped, weekends back home for my own bed and conversations with my mom and dad sustained me and the letters from my father that gave me updates from home kept me on the sane and narrow and of course a check from him for $25 just in case…..
    Remember you were in their shoes once and you didn’t tell your parents what was really going on when you were in school. Either.
    Make sure you tell them no matter what you are there for them. Tell them you love them and my roommates were always jealous of the goody packages as letters I got in the mail. Chocolate chip cookies and Jax I got in the mail.
    It’s not over it’s just changing and change is both good and healthy.
    Teach them to be responsible kind and moral because otherwise you might be a grandmother sooner then you had planned.
    Have them get a part time job so they can are contributing to their own life. Welcome their friends and invite them allow for the weekends home or take them out to dinner too when you take your child out when you visit. I had friends whose never saw or heard from their parents. Sad but true….
    And then pray they survive, life is a lot harder and scarier out there and it is your job to scare the shit out of them. After all what are the rules and acceptable and unacceptable behavior????
    Now take deep breathes…. here you go……

  2. You are awesome, and I want to be like you when my kids grow up. You are such a light and delight to be around – it’s great that more women will benefit from your inspiring mindset!

    1. Can I start by saying you are my FAVORITE HUMAN EVER??? Thank you for your words of inspiration. We all need our girl tribes… and cute pictures of baby lambs. Happy you are providing both to this world!!! LoVe R

  3. I love this Robin!! Cannot wait for your next chapter/adventure! The only thing grounding me is a job. Back to the CRNP world – I am, I am.And growing a new pair of Wings🦋

    1. CAROL!! You really got the double-whammy with TWINS graduating! Bless you! Can I steal the “growing a new pair of WINGS???” That is genius!! LoVe Robin

    1. Well, if you don’t get a GLOWING ENDORSEMENT from your mom. **chuckles**
      Thanks for reading, I’m sure you thought the best part was the adorable pix of your grand-pup Harrison.
      LoVe, Robin

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