Smells Like Teen Spirit

also known as

“KEEP-THROW-MARIE KONDO”

I’ve often wondered what I would find in my kid’s rooms.  Now I know, and now I wish I had never looked.

So, there was HALLOWEEN.   The light-hearted kickoff to The Motherload of Holiday Gatherings. 

The horror actually struck me this year.  It’s self-imposed, but I hear the holiday expectations:  “That empty nest house will be tidied up within an inch of pure magic.”   

[insert Freddy Kruger music & wicked laughing]

FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS: Tidy kids rooms so they have a sacred space for Thanksgiving School Break. . . 

SECOND ORDER: Clean their rooms like a maniac incase I oust them to a sofa for company.

With a quick Google Search, ENTER:

THE LIFE-CHANGING MAGIC OF TIDYING UP -marie kondo

“Most methods advocate a room-by-room or little-by-little approach, which doom you to pick away at your piles of stuff forever. “The KonMari Method,” with its revolutionary category-by-category system, leads to lasting results.”

EXCELLENT. * if you’ve never heard of Marie Kondo …come feel the magic with me!

THE KON MARI METHOD

ONE

KonMari:  “GREET THE SPACE.”

ME:  Enter daughter’s room (spotless): “Hello fruit-of-my-loins.  “Should’ve named you Marie.  This will be a snap!

ME:  Enter son’s room.  My greeting involved foul language. Clearly his Father’s child.  Let’s skip on, shall we?  Only 25 days to address this CHAOS.

SO LONG PTA

TWO

KonMari: CATEGORIZE IN ORDER: Clothes, Books, Papers, etc…

Me: CATEGORY: KIDS ROOM (Dreamin big here Mari.)

THREE

KonMari: SUBCATEGORIZE (Shirts, sweaters, t-shirt’s, etc…)

Me: In Closet, Under Bed, On Floor, AND my favorite, “Hey, that was mine!”

FOUR

KonMari: KEEP WHAT: “Sparks joy,” “Speaks to your heart,” “Moves you.”

Me: KEEP IF: “Valuable,” “Could resell,” “It was mine in the first place.”

**My beloved “The Time-Out Chicken” since 2003 = VALUABLE.   It’s dissection did not spark anything but a yearning to put a certain son in TIME OUT!

FIVE

IF UNSURE ASK:

KonMari: “Do I see this in my life moving forward?”

Me: “Do I see my future-self boxing, moving, unboxing, organizing, and KonMari-ing again in 5 years?”

SIX

KonMari:” Do it all in one go.”

Me: (LAUGHING)

  • SMELLY THINGS    If it smells bad, it’s either a treasure or trash.  My kids must have TREASURED the peppermint-chocolate chapsticks I’ve put in their Christmas Stockings every year for the past 10 years.  I found 14.   [Mom tears].
  • PAPER. PAPER.  PAPER.    My kids actually write, draw, compute, doodle, sketch… ON PAPER!  Mom-joy was sparked!  #NotAlwaysOnDigital  [Mom tears].
  • COLLEGE VISITS   Special note to EMPTY NESTERS IN TRAINING.  Are you listening?  Buy the cheap t-shirt on potential school visits!!!!!  The very SECOND they decide on “their school,” all other school’s hats, shirts, hoodies or scarves will become a new (expensive) KonMari Category.   [Mom & Dad tears].
  • SEALED ENVELOPES   KonMari forgot the category: FINDERS-KEEPERS.  Score! 1 Crisp $50.00 bill in unopened Birthday Card (shhhhh).  [Shopping Spree tears].
BIRDbirdSMALL copy

TAKE IT & FLY

I. Even though I didn’t adhere to ALL her suggestions, there was JOY in straightening, sorting, and cleaning for my kids RETURN!

II. No socks will ever be folded in this house, but fingers crossed, all my Kondo’ing will get me a couple of big peppermint-chocolate scented hugs!!!

III. SERIOUSLY, feel free to slack and use the Toss & Go-Have-A-Life Method! 

LoVe & Happy Kondo’ing,
Robin

If you MUST…here is the Sock-Folding-To-Happiness Method!  ENJOY! (?)

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