Don’t Teach Your Kids To Do Laundry

also known as

“Darn You Stanford”

Me dropping my baby off at COLLEGE.

Well, that’s what it felt like.  We left John 2,391 miles from home, at “The Farm”, his dream school, STANFORD UNIVERSITY-Palo Alto, California.

THIS is the guy we left.  Confident, smart, curious and didn’t have a clue how to FLUFF & FOLD.  Thankfully. . . 

You’re probably asking: “But, isn’t it like SEPTEMBER and every kid has already experienced their first college meltdown and a beer hangover by now?”  Not in sunny California.  West Coast schools are, well West Coast.  They do things their own way.

West Coast explained:

We’re just simply on the quarter system for college.  Rather than two 15ish-week semesters, we get three 10-week quarters.  It really does hurt Rose Bowl attendance for out of conference play for us and other schools like Stanford, Northwestern, and UW.”   @football_is_life

“Isn’t that trimester? Because there’s three of them? I would assume that quarter would have four.” @math_is_life

For anyone running to Google, Summer Quarter is optional…but thanks for sharing your brilliance @math_is_life!

*I actually ran & Googled (B- math student here).

-as posted on Reddit

A week before the Official Take-your-kid-far-far-away-and-just-leave-them-there Day, I put my baby on a plane, alone, for the Frosh *SPOT Trip.

*Translation: Freshman Stanford Pre-Orientation Trip.  Not only are they wickedly-smart at Stanford (sorry, that sounded so HARVARD), they also adore their acronyms.

“And, by the way Mom, they don’t allow phones on this camping adventure.”

Great, Now I can really relax.

[actual flight]
It was emotional, except that somewhere in the terminal "Baby Shark" was annoyingly, ruining the moment. So there was that.

ONE WEEK LATER

The day started as it usually does in sunny California; sunny,  It’s just beautiful and makes you wonder why anyone would live anywhere else.  Then you pass a gas station and remember a) It’s good to buy gas and still afford to eat and b) Raleigh, NC is way cooler (except for the 4+ months of heat, humidity, and humidity).  

*At this point, my Elon Musk lovin’ son would insert reason #267 “Why I Need A Tesla Model S.”  (they’re electric… for non-Musk followers or Karens).

So on this beautiful, sunny day, my husband, Jack, and I woke up as Official Empty Nesters.  

BTW:  Even after 8+ hours of flying the friendly skies the day before, we still didn’t shower.  Just a quick, rinse-off rather than entering the dark, wood-paneled, shower stall.  Seriously?  It that a *WCT?

*West Coast Thing-I made that one up, and YES, I did say THANG in my Southern mind. 

(insert laugh track & Lysol).  #AlwaysPackWetOnes

We hadn’t spoken to John in 7 days, didn’t know how he was adjusting, and I hadn’t washed my hair in 74 hours.  Not sure how this day could go well.   #AlwaysPackDryShampoo

And then, every sentence that came out of my mouth ended with “DYS”.

NERD ALERT

What’s Stanford’s MASCOT?

The Stanford Tree is the Stanford Band’s mascot and the unofficial mascot of Stanford University.  Stanford’s team name is “Cardinal”, referring to the vivid red color (not the common songbird as at several other schools), and the university does not have an official mascot.

THE WELCOME

Everyone was JUST SO EXCITED!  The FROSH, the dorm resident staff, the rent-a-cops directing traffic and even the darn black squirrels were all hopped up on TOTAL HAPPINESS. (DYS)

THE HUG

This mom was super happy to spot my boy right away in a group of the returning SPOT Campers!  

YES, he had taken a hot shower after his 5-day camp out and NO, he would not have hugged me if he knew I had not.  So keep that on the DL. (DYS)

NERD ALERT

How long should a hug last?
 
20 seconds
 Some refer to it as the “happy hormone.” Research has discovered that there is something magical to having long hugs. They have figured out that Oxytocin is released when we hug for at least 20 seconds!

THE SHOPPING

3 MONTHS AGO:

Me: “We have to get started on DORM shopping!”

John:

1 MONTH AGO:

Me: “We really need to get started on Dorm shopping!!”

John:

MOVE-IN DAY:

Me: “We cannot possibly get everything you need for your DORM in one trip to BBB (Bed Bath Beyond)!!!”

2 HOURS LATER:

John: “That’s EVERYTHING Mom.”

Me:

(DYS)

THE HAUL

This last minute shopping?  Gonna be $$$, but wait, they gave us the elusive “20% off EVERYTHING” coupon.  BAM!  Taking home my 2″ of BBB coupons. (DYS) 

THE DORM

Just what are the chances that your SPACE lovin kid (who currently owns 17 NASA inspired t-shirts), gets into the only dorm with a space theme?  (DYS)

NERD ALERT

His dorm was named after Sally Ride.  In the historic flight aboard the space shuttle Challenger in 1983, she became the first American Woman to fly in space .  She earned two undergrad & two grad degrees from Stanford. 

And she probably LoVed Tang!

THE ROOM

  • Clean?  Cleaner than my hair!
  • Spacious?  More space than one will get on a trip to Mars with Space-X. . .so Elon Musk would approve.
  • Roommate?  No loud, up all night, party guy. . .a perfect gentleman who is on the Stanford Swim Team.

(DYS, DYS, DYS)

“It’s OK to have your eggs in one basket as long as you control what happens to that basket.”-Elon Musk

“BUT what about NO EGGS in your NEST Elon?”-Robin Bailey

THEN THERE WERE TWO

DARN YOU STANFORD!  All’s perfect.  Will he holiday with new friends from all over the world and never come home?  Will he become a WCT and stay there forever?  Or most importantly: Will he ever call, text, or face-time his mom while living in this happy-nerdy-paradise???

Most TBD. . .
but I have gotten
2 text, 4 calls & 1 face time
with laundry questions!

THE SELFIE

First-Day-of-College selfie with a washed & pressed Feynman tee.  One proud mom! 

NERD ALERT

Richard “Dick” Feynman,(1918 – 1988) was an American theoretical physicist, known for his work in the path integral formulation of quantum mechanics, the theory of quantum electrodynamics, and the physics of the superfluidity of supercooled liquid helium, as well as in particle physics for which he proposed the parton model. 

If you READ & understood any of that, GFY!!  FYI: He’s the face on John’s shirt.

BIRDbirdSMALL copy

TAKE IT & FLY

I.  Don’t teach Laundry 101.  It’s now our Official Love Language. II.  Nerds are actually VERY funny.  Check out “Surely You’re Joking Mr. Feynman!”  I recommend the audio version; there are lots of big words & it’s a thick book! III.  Darn You Stanford for being so perfect. . . and Thank You (tears) Stanford for being so perfect.  Now please take care of my baby.   LoVe, Fluff & Fold,  Robin

4 thoughts on “Don’t Teach Your Kids To Do Laundry”

  1. Aw, I loved this so much! I can relate when ours went out of state too. He did his freshman year and then decided to attend here at a community college. He loves Tesla’s too. I’m glad our kids our following their dreams.. Hang in there! I totally get it. Hugs!

  2. I love your BRILLIANT blog!
    If we could just bottle you♥️

    You put the vibe in any “tribe”, the soul in “goal” and give grace to our “future space!”

    From your #1 fan. Big, HUGE, kudos!
    XO

    1. I. LoVe. You. and the world needs to CLONE you!!!!! Thank you for always being there for your GoalTribe. You shine so bright!!!

      LoVe
      RB

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