Ban The Toilet Paper Ornaments
also known as
Please Don't Wish Me a Merry Christ-Mask
“𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭’𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐛𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫?” This is typically more challenging to answer in years that don’t include a pandamnit *correct spelling. But I’ve been asking myself this question every December since 1991, the year I met Jack. You know how some of you collect holiday ornaments when you visit a new place or take a memorable vacation; well, that’s kind of what I was thinking when I optimistically started our Bailey-Family Tradition after only knowing him for 103 days. That first pewter ornament was a TRAIN and engraved “The Adventure Begins…” Thankfully, and obviously, it didn’t scare him off. Christmas #2 was a pewter BELL engraved “Still Hearing Bells…” followed by Christmas #3, when we were dating long-distance, a pewter BEAR engraved “Can’t BEAR to be apart!” So you get the gist of my annual attempt at creativity, however corny it may be.
Now 29 years & 28 ornaments later, this is still one of my favorite creative projects, until 2020. All I could think about were tiny toilet-paper rolls saying “2020, Just Had To ROLL With It,” or a sweet Christmas Tree engraved “Oh QUARAN-Tree,” or heaven forbid, a Joe Exotic Tiger King ornament. I reminded myself to stick to a classic: “Our First Pandemic?” or make it simple with a 3-D replica of the red COVID VIRUS and let it speak for its own darn self!
I didn’t think hanging any of these would make my “HEART GROW EVEN 1 SIZE.” No judgments; go ahead and use TP as decorative ribbon if it makes you happy and you feel you can SPLURGE on such a hot commodity.
So lots of thoughts have been swirling in my head this December. And then, all of a sudden, ads for PEWTER NEST ORNAMENTS started popping up on my Instagram feed. Call it Christmas Magic or Google Analytics, it worked. Even in the face of all the horrible, life-altering JUNK that COVID put us through (thank you CHINA), our traditional family ornament will remind us of that crazy year, when college was interrupted, and everyone returned to home to re-nest, at least for a little bit.
2020: The year of EmptyNesting to ReNesting. . . Number 29, you just made my heart grow!
LoVe and SoLong2020,
Take It & Fly
I. Even 2020 couldn’t stop Christmas from coming!
II. Keep your mind on all the 2020 GOOD STUFF…this will keep you off the NAUGHTY LIST!
III. One to Ten: How happy does it make you to be able to say “So Long 2020!”